


Grieving Schrödinger's Dad

by sunkelles



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Based on Misplaced with all the angst you'd expect, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Groundhog Day, Pre-Femslash, Temporary Character Death, The Team - Freeform, season 1 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:45:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11756223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: After losing her father, Zatanna Zatara wakes up that same morning, as if the day hadn’t happened. At first she’s relieved. She has a chance to redo the worst day of her life. Things go sideways immediately.





	Grieving Schrödinger's Dad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [titaniumsansa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/titaniumsansa/gifts).



> so thanks to jasontdd's wonderful bluepulse groundhog day au and titaniumsansa getting back to writing snaibsel, this idea festered in my mind and grew into this angst ball 
> 
> i'm so sorry guys. there is no happiness here. it's just a truckload of angst

After they mend the universes, Zatanna goes to spend the night with Megan and Conner at the Cave. She still feels numb, like today didn’t really happen. She feels like when she goes to bed, she’ll wake up back in her bed at home and everything will go back to normal.

She cries into her pillow, and falls asleep. Then she wakes up. When she opens her eyes, she realizes that she’s not at the cave. She’s in her room at Shadowcrest. When she went to bed the night before, she hadn’t actually expected that.

Maybe her desire to be home had teleported her back home when she slept. She walks cautiously downstairs, fulling expecting to see an empty kitchen. Instead, her father is standing at the stove, making scrambled eggs. The exact same way that he was yesterday morning.

“Good morning, Zatanna,” her father says, the exact same words and inflection that he used yesterday morning.

“Dad,” she croaks. This can’t be real. She can’t- can’t be this lucky. Her father sends her a confused and concerned look, and sets the spoon down. He closes the gap between them.

“Zatanna, are you alright?” he asks, sounding concerned. Zatanna wraps her arms around him, and hugs him tightly. He’s warm and solid and _there._

“Yeah, dad,” she says, and she can hear the joy in her own voice, “I am now.” She doesn’t stop casually touching him the entire morning. They relax, and things almost seem normal. It almost seems like she can avoid her fate.

That is until her father asks, "Are you ready to go to the Cave?" 

"No," Zatanna says. She's not ready to the Cave. There's part of her that still thinks that if they just don't go they can avoid what's coming. 

“I thought you wanted to go see the Team?” he asks, “you’ve been wanting to join?”

“Yes, but I was just hoping we could have a quiet day at home, just you and me.”

“I’m sorry, Zatanna,” her father says, “but I must speak to Batman. We can come home as soon as I’m done.” Zatanna fakes a smile.

“Alright,” she says. Maybe things will still turn out alright. Maybe today will go entirely different this time around.

 

It doesn’t.

 

The universes still break apart, and the same plan is hatched to save the day. Zatanna does not bring the helmet. She expects that this will solve the problem. Instead, Kaldur does. He puts on the helmet, and Doctor Fate steals _his_ body instead.

 

Doctor Fate flies off with Kaldur’s body, and Zatanna is consumed with guilt. _That_ wasn’t supposed to happen. Zatanna goes home with her father, and she somehow feels worse than she did the other night. This time her actions cost Kaldur his life.

 

She wakes up the next morning in her bed at Shadowcrest again, and wonders if the day didn’t reset. Her father is making eggs. He mentions going to talk to Batman at the Cave. Zatanna realizes that the time loop has definitely reset. 

 

Zatanna hides the helmet this time, hoping that Kaldur won’t find it.

 

This time, Wally does. 

 

Zatanna tries again, and hides the helmet in a different spot. Artemis finds it this time. When she hears Fate’s voice mingle with Artemis’s, and promise not to give the girl’s body back, she breaks down and cries into her father’s shoulder, It feels like Zatanna’s heart has been ripped out of her chest. Artemis's gorgeous blonde hair blows back in the wind, and Doctor Fate flies off with her body. 

 

Zatanna goes home, and she lies awake in her bed. She can’t take the guilt of letting one of her friends become Doctor Fate, especially not Artemis. She was supposed to save her father, but she’s just made a mess of things. Every option that she’s seen so far are terrible. She doesn’t know if there _are_ any good ones.

 

She knows what she has to do. She has to set the world back to the way it was the first day, and make sure that her father doesn’t save her. The only good option is making sure that the burden is hers. She’s the one who caused this. She should be the one to fix it.

 

She wakes up the next morning, and goes to greet her father. She needs to run her plan by him before the universes split. She has to make sure that he will agree to let her do this. She can’t work up the courage at breakfast. She doesn’t work up the courage at all. Her father asks her once they get to the Cave.

“Zatanna, what’s wrong?” her father asks.

“You know, I’ve lived this day five times already,” Zatanna says. Her father doesn’t look properly skeptical.

“What happened, Zatanna?”

“What do you mean, I got stuck in a time loop?” Her father sighs, holding his head in his hands.

“I'm asking what happened to cause the time loop?” Zatanna sends him a confused look. He explains.

“In times of emotional distress, young, powerful witches can put the timeline in a death grip." 

“You mean that I did this?” Zatanna asks. Her father doesn’t answer that.

“What happened, Zatanna?” She feels the guilt weighing on her like stones on her chest.

“I messed up,” she says, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes, “I put on Fate’s helmet, and he wouldn’t give me back. So you took my place.” Her father stiffens.

“And then you lived this day multiple times. Did that happen every one of them?”

“No, I tried to change it. Then he took a different one of my friends every day,” she says. Her dad grimaces.

“Zatanna, we must set time back to what’s supposed to happen,” he says. Zatanna nods. She knows what she has to do.

“I have to put on Fate’s helmet, and you have to let him take me,” Zatanna says, “it’s the only way, dad.” Her father looks mortified by her suggestion.

“Zatanna-” Then the the universes split apart, and Zatanna is left alone in the corner.

  


The rest of the day goes the same that it did the first time, _exactly._ Down to her father offering up himself in exchange for her.

 

“Dad, you can’t,” she says, “you can’t do this. It’s my fault. Just let me fix it. Then the timeline will reset. It’ll fix everything.” Her father shakes his head.   
  
“It’s the only way, Zatanna,” he says.

“It can’t be, dad,” she says, “just- just let me put it back on.” She can’t lose her father again. This isn’t the way that time is supposed to happen. There has to be another way.

“For the timeline to finally set, you have to accept it. You have to accept this.”

“I can’t, dad. I can still fix this,” she knows that she can. There’s a way to live this day that doesn’t end in tragedy.

“Until you accept an outcome, you will keep living this day over and over and over again.” He kisses her forehead.

“I love you, Zatanna,” he says, “I trust that you will figure this out.” Then, he puts the helmet on, and Fate flies away with her father. Zatanna collapses into tears, and no one dares to ask what their talk of timelines meant.

 

She gets back to the Cave, where they promise she can stay the night in one of the spare bedrooms. Zatanna knows that she’ll only be there until 11:59. She stays up until midnight at the Cave, watching the minutes go by on the digital clock. She’s just waiting for time to reset so that she can have another chance to save her father. As the clock strikes midnight, the scenery changes. She’s back home at Shadowcrest, and her father is back. He's safe. He’s not Doctor Fate yet. 

Zatanna takes out a notebook, and starts writing down every single thing that happens today. She thinks about all the ways that things could go wrong, and every possible way to fix them. She will save everyone today. She _will._ No one will put on Doctor Fate’s helmet.

She hides the helmet somewhere deep in the Cave where no one else will ever think to look. When the battle comes, they don’t. They get there without Fate’s helmet, and no one puts it on. This time. Doctor Fate doesn’t possess anyone of them.

 

This time, they die. Zatanna’s not sure if it’s everyone, but it’s Robin, and it’s Artemis, and it’s Wally, and it’s her. They, at least, die.

 

She wakes up the next morning, and knows that they can’t do this without Doctor Fate, no matter how much she wants to. She drags herself out of bed, and goes to talk to her father. He’s making eggs like he does every time the world resets.

“Good morning, Zatanna,” he says, like he does every time the world resets.

“Dad, I’m stuck in a time loop.” Thank god that her father is familiar with this concept.

“What happened?” She explains what happened to cause the time loop, and why she can’t let go.

“I think that if I put the helmet, we’ll win again.” She wants to tell him to just let Doctor Fate have her. She’s not worth it. Her actions have caused all of this. If her father just let him take her in the first place, none of this would have ever happened. There would never be a universe where Doctor Fate takes her father, or Kaldur, or Wally, or _Artemis._ Then, everything would be as it should be. She doubts that her father will ever let that happen, though. 

“You won’t let Doctor Fate have me, will you?” she asks.

“No, Zatanna, I won’t. I never will.”

“But dad, it’s my fault,” she says. She can’t let anyone else bear this burden. He wraps her up in a hug, and kisses her forehead.

“I am a father, Zatanna,” he says, “it is my job to bear your burdens. I have to protect you, not the other way around.” She knows that he won’t let Doctor Fate have her, no matter what happens. And she knows that she has to put on the helmet, because she can’t let any of her other friends do it or let all of them die.

She knows that today, her father will put on that helmet. He will become Doctor Fate, and she’ll lose him, maybe forever. Zatanna hugs him, and she cries. She holds him until they have to leave.

They do have to leave, eventually. There's a certain way that this day has to go if they want to save the world. They go to the Cave. Zatanna goes to talk to Artemis, like she did the first time that she lived this day.

“Are you alright?” Artemis asks, sending her concerned look, “you seem… off.”

“It’s hard to explain,” Zatanna says, her voice catching in her throat.

“I’m your friend,” Artemis says, sending her a smile, “I can listen to whatever it is.”

“I’m living in a time loop,” Zatanna says, fully expecting Artemis not to believe her. Instead, Artemis doesn’t even understand what she means.

“What?”

“A time loop. Have you ever seen the movie Groundhog Day?” Zatanna hasn't either, but as far as she knows, there's a time loop like this in it. 

“No.”

“I’ve lived this day over and over again,” Zatanna says. Artemis sends her a skeptical look, like somehow with all the weird shit that they’ve been through together, _this_ is what’s too crazy to believe. Zatanna watches her father and Batman disappear, just like they did the first day.

“And there go the universes,” Zatanna says, with the deep resentment of someone who's lived through this too many times. 

“What happened?” Artemis asks, eyes wide, “where did they go?”

“Klarion just created two parallel universes, one for people seventeen years old and younger, the other for people eighteen years and over.”

“How do you know that?” Artemis asks.

“I’ve lived this day seven times now, Artemis.” Or was it eight? Zatanna's not so sure anymore. 

“Do you know how to fix this?”

“Yeah, I do,” Zatanna says.

“Then let’s do it,” Artemis says, “we’ll fix this, whatever it is.” Artemis puts a hand on her shoulder.

“We can do this,” she promises, and Zatanna wishes that were true. She wishes that this day weren’t the one that she planned to keep, or she’d kiss her right then and there.

 

Zatanna explains the situation to the team. They save everyone that they’ve always saved, and then they take the party to Roanoke Island. The fight goes exactly the way that it did the first night. Zatanna takes a deep breath, and puts on the helmet, knowing full well how this will end.

 

They defeat Klarion. They reunite the universes. They save the day. Then Doctor Fate threatens to keep her, and her father offers himself instead. He gives his sacred word. Zatanna is given control of her body again, and she hugs her father tightly. This might be the last time that she ever gets to.

“I love you, Zatanna.”   
  
“I love you too, dad.” She doesn’t beg him not to do this, because she already has. She knows that he was always going to make this choice. He kisses her forehead.

“Take care of my daughter,” her father tells Batman.

“You have my word,” Batman says. Then, her father puts on the helmet and his fate is sealed. Zatanna knew it was going to end this way since the beginning of the day. Some part of her knew it was going to end this way when he first put on the helmet all those days ago. Zatanna falls to her knees and cries, just like she did the first day.

 

The Team goes back to the Cave, and they promise not to leave Zatanna alone, at least until they know that the time loop has been sealed.

“So you’ve lived this day how many times?” Wally asks. Artemis glares.

“I don’t remember,” Zatanna thinks. It might have been seven but it might have been eight. Either way, every single time has brought a different sort of pain.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she says, stifling a sob. She doesn’t want her dad to be Doctor Fate, but she doesn’t want to watch any more ways that this day can go horribly wrong. She thinks that if there were a way to fix it, she would have found it already.

“We have your back,” Robin promises, “it’s gonna be hard, but at least you can move forward now.” Everyone on this team knows something about losing someone. 

"Have I ever told you guys how Kaldur and I met?" Wally asks. Zatanna shakes her head no. Apparently, that's enough for Wally to recount the tale of the first time that he met Kaldur. Wally isn’t always her favorite person on the Team, but he sure knows how to lighten the mood. Even Kaldur cracks a smile at Wally’s story, even as he interjects about parts that Wally is exaggerating or just getting wrong. Zatanna checks the clock. It reads 11:50. She tries to focus on what she likes about this timeline. Her friends are safe. The day has been saved. No one is dead.

 

11:59 comes, and Zatanna thinks about this timeline. She thinks about how she doesn’t want to do this anymore. She thinks about her friends, about their support. She thinks about all the older siblings reunited with their younger siblings, grandparents with their grandchildren, _fathers with their daughters_. She thinks about her father’s choice, how he willing did it to save her. She thinks about how much she loves him, and how many lives he saved today. She tries to focus on that instead of the resentment and regret pooling in her belly. Apparently, it works. 

 

The clock strikes 12:00. Or at least, it strikes as much as a digital clock switching from 11:59 to 12:00 can. She feels like Cinderella. The clock has struck twelve, and her carriage has turned back into a pumpkin, her dress back into rags. Whatever charade she's been living in this time loop has melted away. 

She doesn't feel as grateful that the time loop is over as she should. She's happy that the repetitive nightmare is over, but knows that she won't wake up to her father's scrambled eggs at Shadowcrest now. He won't tell her good morning. He might never tell her good morning again. 

“Its midnight,” Wally says.

“I think she saw that,” Robin says softly. The world hasn’t reset. What’s happened has stuck now. This is her new reality. She’s not happy with the outcome, even though she’s come to accept it.

Acceptance isn’t some peak that you climb at the end of the grieving process where you’re finally not sad anymore. It’s not coming to terms with it. It’s not being okay with it. Acceptance is dealing with the fact that you can’t change something.It’s nothing more and nothing less.

“Please,” Zatanna asks, “stay.”

“We live here,” Megan says, sending her a soft smile, “you don’t even have to ask.”

“My mom’ll be pissed,” Artemis says, “but it’s worth it. I let her know I'm not coming home tonight and I’ll give her a hug in the morning.” Zatanna feels awful about keeping Artemis from her mom, but she’s the one offering. Zatanna really wants her here, probably more than any of her other teammates actually.

“Thank you,” Zatanna says, and she means it. Maybe she can learn to deal with the fallout of this. There aren’t a lot of bright sides to this, but for once in her life, she has friends, even a crush. Her father wouldn’t want her to wallow.  

Zatanna listens to her friends talk, and watches the clock change every minute. The time loop is over. She’s accepted this reality enough to stop the time loop, but she’s still not alright. She’s been mourning her father for over a week now while he's been half gone half not, but now he’s truly gone.

 

She has to start the process all over again, but at least she has people to go through it with this time. At least now she gets to look forward. Some semblance of closure is better than nothing at all. 


End file.
